my brain is full

Dude, im fucking losing it. I have been studying for 2 months straight now and I don't think I have really learned anything. I have exactly two days until the test. I don't know what to do. I have subjects I havent even studied yet, I have ungoldy amounts of MBE questions I should still do. I am very unprepared. Of course all I have to do is pass. What the fuck does that mean! The fucking bar examiners throw all these stupid ass figures at you like, you need an average of 75% on the essays, the scale is about 13 or 14, the average scaled score is a 142 but you only need a 135. You need a 2400 total to pass. Do any of these numbers mean anything to anybody? not me. I really don't understand why they make one take this test. I proves nothing. This does not test me on any real world knowledge. Christ, for the last 2 months I have been studying the common law that hasn't been used since man killed his dinner with a rock. OK, so maybe not that long ago, but it was a long time ago. I highly doubt that in any state in the country arson is defined as: the malicous burning of the dwelling house of another. I mean, if that were the case I could go burn down a starbucks right now and not get in trouble. But of course, thats how it works. Because THATS TOUGH, THATS TRICKY...THATS THE MULTISTATE! fuckin fineberg.

where have I been?

So I haven't written anything in a long time because I have been somewhat busy. I gradumated from law school and have been studying like a robot for the entire summer. I have exactly 3 days left until the bar exam. I can't wait. Soon it will all be over and I can get my life back. At least until February when I can will have to take the exam again. People are freaking out. I know people that are on prescription sleep pills. I know people (class validictorian) that are on anti-anxiety medicine. Its bizzare. On a much more horrible note, my best friends brother committed suicide last weekend, and the funeral was yesterday. From what I hear, my friend is holding up surprisingly well. Im not sure if that is good or bad though. He is going to need some therapy eventually and I hope he gets it. I know if that sort of thing happened to me I would probably think I was in no need of therapy...wrong. He is, after all, the one who found his brother. I cant imagine walking in and finding your brother like that. My heart goes out to him. Strangely, I do not feel bad for his brother, mostly because he did it to himself. It is sad that it happened, as he was a very nice guy, but when people do those things to themselves I have trouble feeling any sympathy for them. After all, my friend and his family were the ones left to clean up the mess and deal with the tragedy.