here i go again

here I go again, typing after a couple glasses of wine and when I definitely should be in bed getting much needed rest. I seem to find myself here at this computer whenever I feel slightly depressed or reflective, although I have trouble deciphering the difference as of late. As you can probably tell by now, and when I say "you" I mean "me", I have acquired a jobby-job and am very busy with that. So far, practicing law isn't so bad, although the town I work in makes me feel somewhat isolated and cut-off from the rest of the world. I know that the practical experience I am getting is invaluable, especially compared to those classmates of mine that are stuck in a back office doing nothing but researching and typing briefs for the next 3 years. Too bad for them that they are also probably making more than twice what I make. So far the money situation hasn't been too bad except for my slut ass car fucking around with me. Since I have started this job in November, I have put more than $1,000 into this thing. Every time I think about that I also think about how many car payments that could be on a decent car. Son of a Bee Sting! Not only that, but because of my car luck, or unluck, I have had to put off my loan payments for about 2 months. Hopefully I can start paying them next month because I am sick of hiding from them. They are never going to go away. I seriously need to start writing more on this blog. I seem to only find myself here about once a month or less, yet I always seem to feel better after I do a little cyber-venting. Other than the fact that I work in a crappy town, my job and life are actually going OK. my relationship with Lauren is going quite swimmingly, in fact it is awesome. She makes me very happy. I can't help think that something is not quite right though, I feel like im just going through the motions. Somedays I really don't mind this, but there are somedays when I wish I could just pack up the car and leave forever, where I would go is anyones guess. I do know one thing, it is a strange feeling to feel on one hand that I would love to run away and see the world, and on the other hand to feel very homesick for my family and friends back in the bitch-ass state. I do know that I want to get out of this state in the near future and try something new.

peace out for now.